All because of Snape
by Shhh-Its-An-Alias
Summary: In a way I should be thankful to Severus Snape. If it wasn't for him I would never have seen James as a human being. A sweet lily/james pairing with the tiniest dash of sirius at the end.


In a way I should be thankful to Severus Snape. I know he turned out just like the rest of the Slytherins. He turned out to be spiteful and elitist like Bellatrix, Lucius and the others. But still... if it weren't for him I would have never seen the real James Potter. I realised that James could be human the night Snape called me a mudblood. He was hunched and tense in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common-room, he was staring at the heart of the flames, but he didn't see them, his eyes were burning brighter, angrier.

It was odd, I'd never seen him, this intense, nothing ruffled James Potter and if it did he would just shrug it off and carry on. Ever the trouper.  
"What's wrong?" I whispered, slightly scared by this new, angry, human James. My hand reached out to rest on his shoulder independent from my body, he seemed so upset I was compelled to comfort him.  
"I hate him so much." James whispered fiercely, I'd never heard him filled with such rage. I was terrified. It took all my will not to run away.  
"Who? Why? What's happened?" I whispered my questions in a gentle tone, I don't know if I was trying to calm him down or just too scared to make any loud noises in case he turned his fury on me.  
"Snivellus." He hissed, pure hatred tainting his screwed up face. "The pathetic little coward I hate him." I didn't have to speak anymore, his emotions came gushing out of their own accord now that I'd unstoppered them. "He has the nerve, the sheer audacity" he spat "To call you... call you that... that of all things! I thought I hated him before this because he was in love with you, but I didn't know hate. This is hate, this fire in my veins, I want to hurt him, for even thinking that about you Lil. I hate him so much It hurts, there's fire and ice in my veins and both seek to destroy." His head dropped into his hands as he violently messed his own hair up.

"And I just can't take it anymore" He sounded softer now but he was still cradling his head in his hands "Feeling like this about you, and you sneer at me, you laugh at me and brush me off. I want to protect you. Protect you from people like him." James sat up again, tears threatening to gush over his eyelid "He believes he loves you. But he doesn't know what love is." James whispered now, no hint of anger in his voice "If he loved you, that word would never pass his lips, he could never bear to be nasty to anyone with ginger hair, or green eyes or.. or... three freckles in a perfect line on the back of their neck that you can only catch glimpses of on a windy day." The tears spilled, a tribute to me. I didn't know what to say, he'd never shown any true interest in me, I'd assumed it was all a joke, mindless flirting like he did with everyone else.

I looked into his eyes and saw no trace of a lie, I could see miles into his eyes and never reach the bottom, it was strange how they seemed to burn when they were still the colour of the ocean.

"I can't bare to be without you Lilly" He choked out over the tears "Not for another second."  
"I know" I whispered stroking his cheek. And I did know, I could see it through his eyes, how it must have felt, him falling for me bit by bit, and me laughing and rejecting him at every turn.

I didn't realise I was crying too until he wiped the tears of my cheek more tenderly than thought possible of a quidditch player. I realised we were moving closer to each other, I know I must have been moving but It didn't feel like it at the time, I felt magnetised, drawn towards him by some inexplicable force of nature, who was I to defy nature? I'm just Lilly Evans.

As we kissed it felt like time stopped, his lips were so sweet and gentle, I could feel our tears mingling and knew we were the same, we were so different but we had always been the same, so lonely without realising it. Like missing half of you that you don't know is missing until you're whole and strong, all the pleasure of the relief without the inconvenience of the pain.

I knew then that this was right, it felt right in a way I'd never known before, he was my first kiss, my first love, my first... well everything. He gave me everything, he was my everything. But all things must come to an end, the kiss did. It ended with a cough. Not mine. Not James. But his.

"Hey guys" Sirius smirked, eyes twinkling with mischief "Not interrupting am I?"


End file.
